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so very phucked up

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PHUCKED [18 Dec 2006|12:37am]

[ mood | crushed ]

i'm so very phucked. wow. perfect fit. my life is just phucked. more later.

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Fooking hell [02 Oct 2006|07:58pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

Sitting in the same old chair
Sitting in my room
Hear the clock ticking there
See the same old gloom...

This is how I'm feeling right now.
It's not my fault i accidently snogged my best friend and had sex with a boy i didn't even know. It's not my fault.

Hey this commuinity it great. Suits me cos I'm PHUCKING PHUCKED UP.

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Arghhh! [12 Jun 2006|12:45am]

Gah! I want to scream and tear my fucking hair out of my head. This is just not going to work! Dammit, I knew it, I just fucking knew it.

He's not going to love me. He can't. He just can't. He doesn't feel love. Why did I waste my heart on him? I can't even tell him now....

It's horrid, because I do care for him a lot. And he'll never feel the same way.

I'm sorry I have to rant here...I just don't know where else to go really...
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Goodbye [13 Dec 2005|09:43pm]

[ mood | Goodbye ]

Rest in Piece Ben
You will be missed
You were an awsome kid
I told you hockey would kill you
You never know how lucky you are
The way you smiled
You lit everyones day up
The jokes that we told
Teh jokes that we pulled
I can't beleive that your gone
What the hell were you thinking?
Could you have been more careless?
I know it's not your fault, but I have no one else to blame
My eyes are watery but yours are closed
We'll never see your awsome hair as you fly around the rink
Nor will I see you graduate
You were supposed to be Prom King a few years from now
Driving around in your short bus kid
I'm sorry I didn't get to sya goodbye
but I did tell you that I always loved you
Hope to see you when I'm gone, but do me a favour will yeah
Watch over all of us you know why
we need your help, you know us all to well
I love you

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How do I? [10 Dec 2005|01:00pm]

[ mood | amused ]

So, I think that I may dye my hair a fun colour for a bit. But first thing first, I have to get this black out of my hair. I have been told that bleach ruins it but then again I'm told it won't.....so I'm going to go for it but I wonder how long does it take the bleach to take effect?

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has anybody seen my cock, my big rhoade island red................ [17 Nov 2005|11:26pm]

I hate this god damn school. They kicked me out until i sign some god damn contact because i didn't drop this freking class. Hahaha, I got a dr.s note though saying I need to so hahahahahaha.

I'm in a better mood
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Isn't it [10 Nov 2005|03:54pm]

[ mood | cranky ]

This life is a problem, that no one can understand
The trouble that you face, can no longer hold you back
A hated fight against your life of trouble,lust and greed.
Life endangered by a force, something to damaging to explain
I can't take it, but yet I can. Sometimes it feels like I can't plan
Hate fills me so that I can not breathe, Yet it hates me as I do


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It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to!!!!!!!! [30 Oct 2005|05:46pm]

[ mood | cause its Hallowening time ]

So, I saw this awsome Halloween Part thingy in oldfoundnew's entry and I loved it so much I wanted to see what my friends would go as. It made me giggle> giggle so much I almost tinkled myself. Oh I love Halloween it is so fun....Tra la la la la la.......Happy fun day everyone

ademonichiss's Halloween party:

_jackand_sally dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Cheeseball Toiletsniffer".
_mistress dressed as a solvent.
a_devils_wish dressed as a modern angel.
a_secret_me dressed as Andrew Johnson.
bleed_black_666 dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
bleedmymind didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
bleeds_stars dressed as a character from "The Green Mile".
brobdingnagian_ dressed as a bottle of Labglyediol.
caligulas_lover dressed as a fullback for the Falcons.
caramelcandee7 dressed as the Governor of Wisconsin.
confused_em dressed as a scratch.
darkwriter2004 didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
devils_aire dressed as Optimus Prime.
empty_scars didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
find_me_dying dressed as Chandra Levy.
heybabyhey dressed as a spoon.
hollow_child dressed as Barbra Streisand.
killerunicorn dressed as the Cardinal of Mapleville.
loveskitty637 dressed as Counselor Troi from "Star Trek".
lq_jenelle_lq dressed as Wile E. Coyote.
madrabbit5 dressed as a fair resolution.
markus_aurelius dressed as a Lowerdale American-Weekly Newspaper employee.
mrs_adam_carson dressed as someone called "Leah Lifson", but you've never heard of them before.
notashardasyou dressed as Kobe Bryant, though it looked more like a skunk.
oldfoundnew dressed as a executive bastard operator from hell.
rainbowchickie dressed as a diplomat from French Polynesia.
sarahrose dressed as something restless, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
slitwristpoet dressed as the love child of Michael Jordan and Hillary Clinton, and it suited them disturbingly well.
sweet_nightmare dressed as Rush Limbaugh.
trulytink dressed as Ashley Judd riding a penguin.
whitepills dressed as the spirit of their dead grandmother Melanie.
xglamgothx dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Insane Pupil.
xprettylikeguns dressed as your cousin.
xvampiratex didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
yasawasnt dressed as a goblin.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense

Am I the only one going out tonite for Devils night? Kati, I'll be around later to pick you up and we'll have fun kicking up our heels and all that jazz.
Love ya chicky......

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I am so happy I'm going kick up my heels and dance!!!!!!! [01 Oct 2005|11:04am]

[ mood | so happy ]

Ho hum.....today is just such a lovely day! I seriously can't believe how nice it is. It is beautiful holiday weather. I hope it stays like this for Thanksgiving weekend......AHHH Good time weather....
I went for a walk last night and it was wonderful picture perfect but a little chilly ho hum I do beleive that i shall go for a walk again tonight and it is just so nice to be alone and ponder ones thoughts. Which I am now having many of.....lol

Oh anyways just to post it here so that I don't forget for A.S.A.P class

I had booked a hotel room and I was staying there by myself. I guess there was this robbery and no one was supposed to be in the building but anyways there was one lady with golden hair and then they shot her. But instead of red blood she had like a sryupy gold blood. Kinda creepy! But yah then I was sitting in the bathroom stall with my feet up and they were scorring around. As soon as they left I booked it and all of a sudden I was on Bolton St. here in Palmerston walking with some guy from my gym and Ancient history class. I was like WTF. Then I woke up. Creepy and weird DAMN It. Why can't I have normal dreams?

Anyways on to better things my brother comes home in 11 days that is so long yet so close........

Oh Markus on a happy note whoever those bastards are I will kick them with you when they're down :)......lol AND I WILL BE GOING!!!!! Markisimo.....Thanks for your help.......!........Big kisses and hugs tp you

Happy day everyone!

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[27 Sep 2005|09:40pm]

[ mood | cynical ]

God Damn slow computer why must you put me through this
work Work Work
* shakes fist violently*

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Fuck You Loser!!! [20 Nov 2001|12:05pm]

[ mood | infuriated ]

Quite refreshing to write this- HA!!!

Fuck You Shamus..

Fuck you, Shamus for telling me you love me., and me believing it!
Fuck you for taking advantage of my kind nature.
Fuck you for taking advantage of my willingness to love you, you were not worthy of anyones or mind you MY Love!!!
Fuck you for having people care for you- your not worth it!!!
Fuck you for being so sefish and self-centered.
Fuck you for being a lier, and a cheater.
Fuck you, for taking my virginity- you didnt deserve it!
Fuck you, for telling me I was the only one for you.
Fuck you, for being so emotionally and mentally abusive.
Fuck you, for manipulating me to your own ends.
Fuck you, for making me hurt so extremely deeply inside.
Fuck you, for gaining my trust.
Fuck you for using women.
Fuck you, for making me become a clam, not willing to trust anyone.
Fuck you, for never getting me off- God, you were such a dead fuck!!!
And yea SHAME-US, Fuck you for being YOU!!!

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Who do I chose?! (twins) [11 Oct 2001|09:01pm]

[ mood | confused ]

okay well i met these twins (James and aaron) and i thought they were both cute. then i heard james was already talking to some other girl(Ann) so i was like i guess ill just get to know aaron. so me and aaron are talking. then i guess james and ann arent anymore and so james called me up and was like so do you wanna hook up or what? and i was like omg... cuz i like aaron but then i dont really know james... and i dont know who to chose cuz what if i get with one and realize i really like the other one and that just ruins my chances of being with the other one. i'm really confused rite now and have no idea what to do? also im friends with ann so i know she would be pissed at me. but then shes hella fucked up cuz she has a bf and james dont know it. and she still thinks shes talking to james. *SiGh* i'm so confused... who do i chose?

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[03 Jul 2001|07:38pm]

presenting problem number one*: i lost *gave* 127 dollars today.. i'm broke.

presenting problem number two*: i'm terribly worried about the girl & her bunny who i gave or should i say loaned the money to.. & will i ever get the money back?

presenting problem number three*: this shirt is too tight & i'm hungry..

hehe, a little pathetic & too generous? maybe.

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Ryan Clark... the boy who called me a bitch at prom. [02 Jul 2001|10:58pm]

EightBitAnarchy: Well hello.
cynical wishes: Hi.
EightBitAnarchy: This is Ryan.
cynical wishes: Duh.
EightBitAnarchy: Why is it that whenever you open your mouth, something mean comes out?
cynical wishes: I'm sorry, weren't you the one who called me a "bitch" at prom? Weren't you the one who tormented me at every single Cochlea practice, but when YOUR girlfriend came, everyone showed her respect?
EightBitAnarchy: First off, they joked with my ex... the difference is you couldn't take a joke because you are so melodramatic.
cynical wishes: Ryan, a joke is one thing, you called me a "fat bitch" at one of the practices. You told Nick that I'm got my hand so far up his ass I can make him talk. I don't forget things.
cynical wishes: I've ~~~
EightBitAnarchy: Well, its true.
cynical wishes: How would you know?
cynical wishes: You know NOTHING about mine and Nick's relationship.
cynical wishes: Or anything about relationships at all. I noticed you and Miranda aren't exactly *stable* or anything.
EightBitAnarchy: The first time I came over you made him disown one of his friends because she flashed some other guy?
cynical wishes: That was not the first time you came over. You weren't there.
cynical wishes: You don't know what was said at all by that stupid slut.
EightBitAnarchy: Before you locked yourself in the bathroom, he talked about he nicely... then al of a sudden he hates her?
EightBitAnarchy: Its called whipped.
cynical wishes: She said, and I quote "I'd flash you guys, too, but Jobeth is here." Okay, Ryan, I don't want some skank showing Nick her boobs.
EightBitAnarchy: Alright... then just say so.
cynical wishes: You ask Nick if he's whipped. You ask ANYONE who KNOWS him. They'll just say "no, those two are in love."
EightBitAnarchy: DOn't pull a hissy fit.
cynical wishes: I did. I told Alex directly that I never want her near Nick again.
cynical wishes: And that I'd beat the fuck out of her if she ever exposed any of her body parts to him.
cynical wishes: And I meant it.
cynical wishes: It's not me controlling Nick. It's me CARING.
EightBitAnarchy: I mean, granted your still young... but if you are going to hang around with somewhat older people you need to be more mature.
cynical wishes: I need to be more mature? I'm sorry, I've been in a relationship with Nick for a year and six months. We've set our fucking wedding date. We've NEVER broken up, we've both never done drugs or drank anything alcoholic. We've never had sex. Yet you're saying I'm immature? I'm smart. And in love. And dedicated. And devoted.
cynical wishes: I'm a lot more mature than you'll ever know, because you never gave me a fucking chance.
EightBitAnarchy: Your what 15?
cynical wishes: So?
EightBitAnarchy: You got a lot of shit to learn... and its going to hurt.
EightBitAnarchy: THats all I have to say.
cynical wishes: I still don't think you have any right to judge me when you don't know a single thing about me.
cynical wishes: You know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about me.
cynical wishes: How can you sit there and act like you know me?
EightBitAnarchy: I threw a few playfull coments out and you blew up.
cynical wishes: Yeah but they weren't playful after a while.
EightBitAnarchy: At first they were.
cynical wishes: Yeah, see?
cynical wishes: I had every right to start getting upset.
EightBitAnarchy: Well you were too fucking sensative... and statrted thowing haymakers.
cynical wishes: Who cares if I'm sensitive? You seemed to get pretty upset when David made fun of you being dyslexic. You're sensitive, too, or else you wouldn't have had a fit.
EightBitAnarchy: Its a lot deeper than that.
EightBitAnarchy: ITs been going on a while like this between you and I.
cynical wishes: Well maybe it's a lot deeper with me too. You don't know me, so how would you know how much those comments hurt or didn't hurt?
EightBitAnarchy: Because every other human being hasn't had a probelem with them.
EightBitAnarchy: Except for you.
EightBitAnarchy: I just think that you gett off on hating people.
cynical wishes: I don't... hate people.
cynical wishes: I hate maybe two people on the planet.
cynical wishes: I dislike many.
cynical wishes: It just stems from my past experiences, which [once again] you know nothing about.
EightBitAnarchy: I give a shit too.
EightBitAnarchy: I know nothing about that nad i don't care... all I know is that you are a bitch so I treat you like one.
cynical wishes: But see, you judged me. I'm not a bitch. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll say I'm not a bitch. You just couldn't give me two fucking seconds to breathe without calling me some bullshit name.
cynical wishes: But then I'M the immature one.
cynical wishes: Yeah, tell me how THAT works.
EightBitAnarchy: You are a bitch to me.
EightBitAnarchy: THat is what I see.
cynical wishes: But I wasn't.
cynical wishes: Not until you and Scott started yelling at me randomly.
cynical wishes: Or telling Nick that I'm a problem.
cynical wishes: And I do believe Scott even flat out told Nick that he should dump me.
EightBitAnarchy: Well you are.
cynical wishes: How?
EightBitAnarchy: I agree with him,
EightBitAnarchy: Well, it is none of my buisnees anymore because it isn't affecting me.
cynical wishes: But you still haven't given me ONE reason as to why I'm such a problem for Nick.
EightBitAnarchy: When we were in the band, you were a control freak.
EightBitAnarchy: I have said that numerous times.
cynical wishes: Oh, OKAY.
cynical wishes: Oh, and Nick told me he doesn't think he'll make it to your graduation party.
EightBitAnarchy: Why are you delivering the message?
EightBitAnarchy: (whipcrack)
EightBitAnarchy: ?
cynical wishes: Because he hardly ever comes online anymore, and I heard him mention it last week to Kevin McDunn while we were hanging out.
EightBitAnarchy: Well thats too bad... because I realy wanted someone who talks shit behind my back there oh so much.
cynical wishes: What do you mean?
EightBitAnarchy: Well, you said that everyone thought I was an asshole, dumb, and has no future.
EightBitAnarchy: Right?
cynical wishes: Hmm, *thinks* most everyone, yes. But I do not talk about you to Nick, so I don't know what he thinks. I've never bothered asking.
EightBitAnarchy: I realy would like to know who that came from then.
EightBitAnarchy: Dave?
EightBitAnarchy: HA!
cynical wishes: Oh well, of course David hates you.
cynical wishes: I mean... you had to know that.
cynical wishes: But you hate him, too, so it's all good.
EightBitAnarchy: Yeah, no shit.
EightBitAnarchy: Any names?
cynical wishes: That would be rude.
EightBitAnarchy: And you think that by telling me that "poeple" talk shit behind my back isn't?
EightBitAnarchy: Where the fuck is your head?
EightBitAnarchy: Who?
cynical wishes: Well, how many people do I know, and see often, that went to Brother Rice?
cynical wishes: There's my answer.
EightBitAnarchy: I don't know... so tell me.
cynical wishes: Too bad, I gave you my answer.
EightBitAnarchy: Realy, I "know nothing" about you... so how about some names?
EightBitAnarchy: Your such a pussy.
cynical wishes: Thanks.
EightBitAnarchy: You hide behind cowardly words like "people" to put attacks on me. How big of a coward are you?
cynical wishes: Well, I can think of 10 off the bat. So try and think of ten people that you know I know.
cynical wishes: It's not THAT hard.
cynical wishes: I mean, come on, you must have SOME IQ.
EightBitAnarchy: Why are you to fucking pussy to not give names?
EightBitAnarchy: Is this bassed on just daves oppinion?
cynical wishes: Because it's not my place to tell you, they can tell you themselves.
cynical wishes: No, I don't base anything on Dave's opinion.
EightBitAnarchy: Fuck you and your cowardice.
cynical wishes: Oh, okay.
EightBitAnarchy: If you are going to take the liberty to speak on the behalf of others... you should be confident enough to give names.
EightBitAnarchy: I'm so dissapointed.
cynical wishes: Fine, be disappointed. Do you really think I care at all how you feel?
EightBitAnarchy: No, but I would at least think that you would have the decency to tell me who the fuck said that shit.
EightBitAnarchy: I mean, for all I know you are lying.
cynical wishes: Why don't you just go ask someone who you suspect doesn't like you?
EightBitAnarchy: Because I think the majority of people liek me.
cynical wishes: Jesus, I've even heard SCOTT call you a "fucking asshole" before.
cynical wishes: Scott. Of all people.
cynical wishes: The boy who worships you.
EightBitAnarchy: Big deal, he was probably pissed at the time... I called my ex a bitch and I was in love with her.
EightBitAnarchy: That can be taken out of context.
cynical wishes: Who, Miranda?
EightBitAnarchy: Did he say this on numerous occasions.
EightBitAnarchy: Yes.
cynical wishes: I kind of thought she was a bitch, too.
EightBitAnarchy: Your a bitch.
EightBitAnarchy: Fuck off.
EightBitAnarchy signed off at 10:55:00 PM.
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[02 Jul 2001|08:03pm]

[ mood | giggly ]

ooo.. hi jobey.. hi community.

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what jobeth wants, jobeth gets... [02 Jul 2001|07:59pm]

[ mood | productive ]

lookie.. i joined :)

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[02 Jul 2001|07:14pm]

Oh, by the way... I think I only made this so I would have a place to go and bitch about things, so that certain people would never see them. :D

Ha... so... yeah, if you want to, you can as well.
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[02 Jul 2001|07:09pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

I'm a dork.

Woohoo, I made a community.

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